iCarly's Jennette McCurdy spills details of 'hellish' acting career and battles with her own team

Jennette McCurdy is sharing more about the struggles she experienced during the height of her iCarly fame and why the people around her tried to vehemently discourage her from ending acting career.
During the March 10 episode of her Empty Inside podcast, the former Nickelodeon mainstay gave new details about her decision to pursue a new path away from Hollywood stardom. The star previously confirmed in an episode last month that she quit acting a few years back and will not join Miranda Cosgrove and other alums for the iCarly revival.

"I was a famous 19-year-old and making a bunch of money, and I felt like I had everything at my fingertips," Jennette said in the latest episode. "But I was deeply unhappy, and I actually really resented my life because I didn't like the projects that I was a part of."

She explained that even though she realized her shows were an important part of many people's childhoods, this didn't make the process more enjoyable for her.

"It's a difficult thing to say because the shows that I was on were so loved by so many people and so many kids, and I hear constantly, 'You made my childhood,'" she said. "And I think that's great that they had that experience. But that just was not my experience, and I felt a lot of shamethat I wasn't able to identify at the timebecause I didn't like waltzing onto an over-lit, cheesy set and shouting a line. It felt so pointless and shallow. It just filled me with a lot of shame."

Jennette was best known for her role as Sam Puckett on iCarly, which she later reprised on Sam & Cat opposite Ariana Grande. But she said that she was "very different from the character that I was playing," which caused her to be unsure of her own identity.

Eric Jamison/Invision/AP

"So, to be known globally for this thing that's not really me, it was just like, What the f--k am I doing?" Jennette continued. "How do I even find myself when I'm 19, and I've been famous for all the years that I would normally be stumbling through finding myself, yet I'm known as a thing that I'm not. It just was'hellish,' I think, is not too intense of a word."

The former star of Netflix's Beyond went on to share that her representation, including agents and managers, tried to talk her out of saying goodbye to acting.

"Everybody around me was advising me not to do, and telling me that I shouldn't throw this away and that I'm insane for wanting to, so that was its own rebirth," Jennette added. "'How can you walk away from this? Are you kidding, do you have any idea how many people want you have?' But it didn't matter. I didn't want itit wasn't true to me. And walking away was really difficult, but it was something that I needed to do for my mental health and for my overall peace, and it was difficult. I didn't know what to do with myself when I didn't have things that always dictated my identity around anymore."

Ultimately, she found that once she stopped "living this lie," she felt "a million times better."

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